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Oh my dear hearted friend!
I really am not the person to give any advice when it comes to these things. . especially due to the fact that I have a forever on going "Foot into Mouth" problem myself. .
It would be soooo nice, very nice if we could have our lifes on tape & we could reel it back & do some major editing, but we can not. . so the best I can say is. . count backwards from ten, take a deep breath, hold your head high & act like nothing really happen. . I know easier said then done!
As for his silence, I think he may have not truly expected that from you & perhaps was digesting it all. . or at least I hope so. . if not . . well I am not sure about him & the character he actually may be from what I have read. .

In my long winded way, my dear hearted friend, I am attempting to let you know. . YOU ARE NOT ALONE. . we all have done so many many things that we are regretting & make worse for how we over over over & re over play it. .

Thank you dear Bogart. Your words are always so encouraging. Funny thing…last night I felt pretty good about the whole thing. I was thinking that this was at least I could press forward and be okay with it all. Yet, this morning when I awoke I just did not feel like even getting out bed and going in (partly because I am still so very tired). But for some reason I am beginning to feel sad about the whole thing. Let down really, perhaps I secretly had too many expectations.
If I told you more about him, you would want to slap me for foolishly continuing my chase for his affections. Strange how sometimes you just fall hard for the completely wrong person. *sigh* This weekend will be very busy for me. Hopefully next week I will be able to just pop open a bottle of wine and just sit and think and internalize everything.
I almost want to cry…I feel like a complete idiot. Ha! Good thing I am a “no limit” solider!  Moving forward…dirty jiggly man in a thing of the past. LOL

Wow, what a long chase scene. Almost like a movie. As mentioned previously. We have all been there. A while for BT, but I have been there. I felt the same way you do. You have enough good people around you to lift you back up. I'm sure plenty of men will love all your good qualities. Don't let someone negative bring you down. He should of been straight with you from the beginning. Damn Men!!! Maybe it is time to pick up the drums or guitar and forget about men all together...Hang in there. BT

5 years! Did u say 5 years! Is that a typo? Sorry to hear about you night.

**HUGS** You deserve someone who is going to be as crazy about you as you are about them, you will find him, hang in there. Sometimes when someone seems like a "challange" it makes us women do things we wouldnt normally do... :P It happens to the best of us. Try not to be so hard on yourself *HUGS* You live, you learn, you move on.. :)

Yes, Liz...five years. No typo. LOL
BT and Jen-thank you for your warm thoughts. I am fine now. I just had to rant and rave to get it out of my system. This person is no good for me and I knew that from day 15. LOL He is a playa and honestly...I feel a bit sad for him. I respect him as a person and I think he is an excellent worker...but I find his way of life to be overrated and somewhat pitiful.
Don't get me wrong, I have not done a 180. I still find him attractive...there just does not seem to be anything inside of him appealing anymore. Just eye candy-He is like the tootsie roll pop without the tootsie center. LOL
I just needed to "express myself" and now I feel great and able to move forward.

nothing ventured nothing gain...not foolish....not stupid fairiedrops....darling girl.....maybe next time you'll read the clues quicker...lov ya ...nanza

LMAO. I read your entry last night and was LMAO! You're too funny. And you know what? It's his lost that he didn't appreciate what a beautiful and a sweet woman you are.

I've been there and done that, was even at a very depressed state, but I got over it, hard and I've to anyway.

You'll find someone special my dear. :) *hugs*

faeri dearie,
wow that was a long one. how much spare time do you get to post that one.. its detailed LOL!


oh MEN!!! oh MEN!!! :P not many are sensitive about the feelings of women and it damn hurts. dont wanna say sorry for this experience because if it helps you to grow, its good. i didnt know it takes awhile for you to feel that you arent appreciated. i am gonna kick someone's butt. (thinking whether your butt or his? ) LOL! i dont have much experience sweety but how often do we hear the sobbing of girl in the locker room or bathroom for some jerk men out there.. it's always good not to put our guards down. and even if we do, we have friends to confide our stupidity. whatever you are going thru, just go through it and come out triumphantly.

hey sweety, i wanna kick my prof butt. havent finished the researc paper yet. but we can finish it by 1st week of April, we hope. lemme know how you are darling.

Always,
Angel

Thank you Blifme for laughing at my pain. LOL, just jokes. I always try to find humor in everything. I am glad you got a kick out of it.
Nanza-thanks for placing things in perspective.
Angel-Yep...it is a long one. I has a lot of time to post being that I was doped up on that blasted caffine pill! :-) LOL. No, worries...it is not as serious as it may sound. No tears or anything like that...I just felt like an IDIOT. It is more of a pride issue than anything else.
Sorry to hear about your blasted Prof. They can be so fickle.

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